What Is This World Coming To?

And I’m not  just referring to the rampant ending of sentences with prepositions.

I’m talking about incidences like the one described today in my local newspaper’s Police Report:

Birthday Cake Fight Turns Into Baseball Bat Attack

A 29-year-old Golden Gate Estates man was arrested Thursday after a

cake fight at a weekend birthday party turned into an attack with

a baseball bat, Collier County sheriff’s deputies said. Partygoers

said after a cake fight at a birthday celebration Saturday, a real

fight broke out about stolen beer. Two men accused of stealing

the beer then attacked the accusers, according to an arrest report.

The mother of the birthday girl told deputies she saw <name deleted

to protect the stupid>, 29, punch and hit one of the other men

in the head with a baseball bat, causing him to bleed. A second man

said <name deleted> also punched him in the throat, the report said.

It seems that these people are not aware of certain mutual exclusivites that exist – or that should exist – in this world. Such as the following, which, I repeat, should ALWAYS be mutually exclusive:

Full-grown, intoxicated men  /   little girls’ birthday parties

Full-grown, intoxicated men   /   baseball bats

Beer   /  little girls’ birthday cakes

But the REAL crime in this story has nothing to do with the beating up of men over accusations of stolen beer. No, the REAL injustice done here is  that they were having a cake fight. A cake fight. . .<GASP!> . . .  They were WASTING a perfectly good BIRTHDAY CAKE! That, my  friends, is simply unforgiveable.


2 thoughts on “What Is This World Coming To?

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