Maybe I shouldn’t even be writing this post. Because maybe you will not be able to handle your extreme envy when you find out that in the quiet little coastal town where I live, we have . . . .
A Macedonian Consulate.
Now before you run out and start trying to get one in YOUR town, be forewarned that not just anyone can have one. After all, there are only 3 in the entire US of A! (They should call it “The Exclusive Macedonian Consulate”.)
And please consider that having one can also result in major problems, such as The Great Flag Controversy of 2008. See, the Consulate wanted to fly their big Macedonian flag right there in the middle of the downtown district (gasp!).
The city council spent many weeks in heated debate over this issue of “Proliferation of Flags”. (For pete’s sake, it’s not a nuclear armament – it’s just a flag!!) But in the end, 2 councilwomen cast the deciding “yes” votes, because they thought the Macedonian flag would give the area an “international flavor”. It’s right next to an Italian restaurant, and there’s a Mexican eatery just down the street. Voilà! International Flavor!
But you know what’s really cool about these Macedonians? A couple of things. Not only do they want to “build economic and social ties” and “improve relations between the United States and the United Nation,” but they also want us to know that they are a “small, but reliable ally”. I personally feel much safer knowing that we have some good Macedonians on our side.
And also, they have really cool first names, like “Zoran”, and “Srgjan”. (The name ‘Srgjan’ suggests that the Macedonians are not big on vowels. But then we Americans aren’t big onn speling.)
But do not despair, my friend. Just because your city doesn’t have a Macedonian Consulate does not mean your city is somehow deficient. Well, actually it does, but just stop the despairing anyway. It won’t help you get a Consulate.